So the Yankees have played pretty well since that last travesty, and actually managed to completely catch up with the Red Sox before getting swept by the Angels and dropping back three games right before the All-Star break. It's not the end of the world, it's just frustrating to lose that progress. They really haven't played the best teams very well at all, but the sample isn't that big and they're still leading the Wild Card race, so I feel pretty good going into the second half.
This year I'll blog the annual overlong and often boring home run contest, seeing if it will be more fun without the rooting interest. No Yankees are playing again so I'll just be watching eight guys hit balls really hard. This is also won't be posted until a day later, so it's sort of an experiment, especially since I've never liveblogged something that wasn't a regulation baseball game before. Yup. Hittin' balls. With a bat. St. Louis.
This year I'll blog the annual overlong and often boring home run contest, seeing if it will be more fun without the rooting interest. No Yankees are playing again so I'll just be watching eight guys hit balls really hard. This is also won't be posted until a day later, so it's sort of an experiment, especially since I've never liveblogged something that wasn't a regulation baseball game before. Yup. Hittin' balls. With a bat. St. Louis.
Round 1
Introducing the players now. As always, the AL crop seems kinda weak. It's not quite the same without all the old steroid users. Frowny face. Quick question: what's the only way to make Joe Morgan look like a smart baseball analyst? Answer: stick him in a booth with Steve Phillips. Lord is that a dumb group of people sitting at that table. I like how they changed the rules so homers carry over from the first round to the second. The finals should be pure, but it's not fair when a guy who hit 20 in the beginning can't get to the last round because he wore himself out. Before the contest starts, Albert Pujols fails to hit a home run in two swings to win a car for some guy from Philadelphia. If I was him, I'd be pissed. If I was picked out of thousands of people for a contest, I should get a damn prize, regardless of whether some millionaire can hit the ball where I tell him to.
Nelson Cruz
Cruz has had a good year, and I think he was a late addition to the AL roster this year. He's got some power, some of his home runs look like pop ups that just keep going. Maybe it's the crappy camera angle. He's doing a good job. It's always fun when they get on a roll with one out left. He finishes with 11, which historically is unspectacular but should get him to the next round easily. And now they're taking a break from the action to educate us young people on Stan Musial. He was pretty damn great back then, but is going to be surpassed as the greatest Cardinal ever by Pujols as long as he stays on the team.
Prince Fielder
Prince has already started without them telling us. What a lack of respect. First homer is almost to dead center. I don't understand why the break isn't directly in the middle of the season. It skews first and second half numbers slightly. Oh well. Pujols is still talking about stuff while Prince has twice as many dingers as outs. I like Pujols' accent. He talks like a native speaker would, with a complete understanding of the syntax, he just says every word slightly incorrectly. Better than what a lot of latin players can do. Man, Fielder's hitting some monster shots. Another couple gold ball homers with no outs left and he matches Cruz' effort with 11.
Brandon Inge
Seriously, Inge? I realize he's having a really good year but this is a contest for the top sluggers in the game, not utility players. He's proving he doesn't belong with four swings and no home runs to show for it. He's doing so badly that he doesn't even get the full screen as Erin Andrews is interviewing Derek Jeter in the corner. Inge has eight outs and now I know he's just thinking, "Please let me get one before I lose." He almost gets it, but just yanks it foul and finishes with zero. It happens, and I can't imagine he's too disappointed participating in the All-Star festivities.
Adrian Gonzalez
The Padres hit decently on the road, but Gonzalez is the only thing that keeps them from being completely pathetic in their cavern of a home park. His first few swings don't generate anything. Oh, great. It's not enough that Joe Buck calls games all year long for FOX, now I have to hear him as a guest on ESPN. We get it! He was raised in St. Louis! Whoopie! Adrian gets his first dinger with six outs. A bit later and it's gold ball time. Unfortunately, he has to finish with two. After a good start with the first two guys, the last couple have been disappointing.
Carlos Pena
This guy shouldn't be an All-Star. He was a late replacement for Dustin Pedroia who stayed home with his pregnant wife, and like aways he was chosen by his manager over someone probably more deserving. Such as Ian Kinsler, who just barely lost the fan vote against Pedroia and is now sitting around while I think Aaron Hill is the only real second baseman on the whole roster. He gets his first homer on the fourth swing. A bit later and he's got five hits and five outs. Unfortunately that's all he gets as the next five swings don't quite connect, so all Pena does is officially eliminate Inge.
Ryan Howard
Hey guys! It's Ryan Howard! He's pretty darn good at hitting home runs. You know, it's sad that Chris Berman must think he's so damn clever. And we all have to sit here listening to State Farm "farmed out" puns. Howard's up to seven, having eliminated Gonzalez a while ago. And that's the number he finishes with. He'll probably make the cut, because both Mauer and Pujols would have to beat him. Cruz and Fielder are definitely in.
Joe Mauer
Here's another guy who doesn't quite belong. He's an absolutely great hitter, even not account for him being a catcher, but this is the first season he's shown real power and it's not a huge sample. He's not doing too bad, though. Apparently Morgan thinks that if Mauer somehow gets "really hot" he can manage to eliminate the current two best performers with only one other unresolved player to go. His ignorance went past depressing and is back to amusing now. Mauer finishes with five also, so Howard is in, and Pujols needs six to qualify without a three-man tiebreaker scenario. Morgan comments that Cruz and Fielder are definitely in the next round now. They were in before Mauer picked up the bat, moron.
Albert Pujols
The hometown guy's in. Ryan Franklin's goatee is quite freakish. Third swing and we see his first homer. Looked farther than it ended up being. A bit later and he's up to seven outs before getting his second. Please, get either at least four more or fewer than three. He just barely muscles out a third, maybe with some fan assistance. Still at three and down to his final out. Clutch performance to get two more, but that's all and we're headed for a three-man "swing off". They could use a catchier name than that.
Swing Off
Pena's up first. These runs don't count towards the total for the round, it's just an elimination thing. I didn't catch the rules because of the blender in the next room, I think they get five outs. Apparently it's five swings, not outs. Pena only gets one, so his night is probably over. Mauer next. Berman keeps calling it a bat off, which is even worse. Mauer gets none, so it's up to Pujols to hit two out of five or none, lest we repeat this again. He gets the second on his third swing, making it to the next round.
Round 2
Here we go. Pujols and Howard go first to see if Cruz and Fielder need to even bother batting this round.
Pujols
He's clearly not in his best form after a double-header yesterday. He hits six more to bring his total even with the leaders before they even take a swing. Decent job, but he's most likely done.
Howard
He doesn't look that fresh either, although before the eighth out he manages to surpass Pujols' total. There must be something in the air slowing these guys down. He manages to finish the round with an impressive eight, and a two round total of 15. I bet he makes it, because the other two guys have been sitting for a while, and so far this has been a fairly tepid derby.
Cruz
Cruz wastes no time eliminating the local boy. He actually seems surprisingly rust-free. He hits five, which isn't great, but still places him in the final round regardless of what Fielder does.
Fielder
Prince is still putting his whole weight in every swing. I think he wants to win this. He's staying up there swinging even after he has six and not benefiting from standing there. And that's what he finishes, with him and Cruz in the final. I'll take Prince to win.
Final Round
To be fully honest, right now I'm more interested in this essay dissecting why Battlestar Galactica's ending blew than the derby.
Cruz
He's really killing the ball, though. Well, he was. He gets five in his first five outs, but that's also what he finishes with. Prince has a chance to put it away.
Fielder
It's funny to watch the length of these paragraphs peter out over time. There's only so much you can say about national broadcasters being idiots and guys hitting the ball into the seats. Fielder's still crushing the hell out of it though. He ties Cruz with six outs left. A bit later and he smacks one to deep center to clinch it. Nice job in a somewhat forgettable derby. It was actually pretty competitive, but unlike most recent years there was no amazing single-round performance to remember. Not than we're likely to see anyone top Josh Hamilton in Yankee Stadium last season for a while. Well, that wasn't a complete waste of three hours. See you later.
Round 2
Here we go. Pujols and Howard go first to see if Cruz and Fielder need to even bother batting this round.
Pujols
He's clearly not in his best form after a double-header yesterday. He hits six more to bring his total even with the leaders before they even take a swing. Decent job, but he's most likely done.
Howard
He doesn't look that fresh either, although before the eighth out he manages to surpass Pujols' total. There must be something in the air slowing these guys down. He manages to finish the round with an impressive eight, and a two round total of 15. I bet he makes it, because the other two guys have been sitting for a while, and so far this has been a fairly tepid derby.
Cruz
Cruz wastes no time eliminating the local boy. He actually seems surprisingly rust-free. He hits five, which isn't great, but still places him in the final round regardless of what Fielder does.
Fielder
Prince is still putting his whole weight in every swing. I think he wants to win this. He's staying up there swinging even after he has six and not benefiting from standing there. And that's what he finishes, with him and Cruz in the final. I'll take Prince to win.
Final Round
To be fully honest, right now I'm more interested in this essay dissecting why Battlestar Galactica's ending blew than the derby.
Cruz
He's really killing the ball, though. Well, he was. He gets five in his first five outs, but that's also what he finishes with. Prince has a chance to put it away.
Fielder
It's funny to watch the length of these paragraphs peter out over time. There's only so much you can say about national broadcasters being idiots and guys hitting the ball into the seats. Fielder's still crushing the hell out of it though. He ties Cruz with six outs left. A bit later and he smacks one to deep center to clinch it. Nice job in a somewhat forgettable derby. It was actually pretty competitive, but unlike most recent years there was no amazing single-round performance to remember. Not than we're likely to see anyone top Josh Hamilton in Yankee Stadium last season for a while. Well, that wasn't a complete waste of three hours. See you later.
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